Happy Halloween......

October 31, 2018

First the good news, perhaps not for all but hopefully most. My chest X-Ray and MRI came back clean. The cancer has not spread to my liver or lungs so I have a few more sunsets ahead. However, I will be getting a couple of MRI’s each year for the next 3 to five years.

So, yes I made it through the MRI unscathed. I kept my eyes closed about 99 percent of the time and never did look sideways. I did not want to acknowledge how small the tube was. And I let my mind wander. I think it is the better part of valor to leave it at that.

For those that have been following along I did not meet my fitness goal but I have lost 4 to 5 pound since September 1 and am successfully keeping it off - but a few more to go. Not too mention the muscle mass and body fat indices.

Now the good stuff. Mela and I went to LA this past weekend to visit Nicole, Dwight and most importantly our granddaughter, Niko. We were joined by our other daughter Gina and her beau, Steven both of whom live in San Francisco.

We had a great weekend eating and drinking our way through LA. Friday night we all met for dinner and drinks at a casual place in Echo Park. It had a lot of beers on tap and a lot of TV’s that had the game on. Unfortunately, as a life long Giants fan the place also had a lot of Dodger fans.

Saturday, we had a late breakfast at a place near their apartment before ubering to the LA art district to shop and meander about. Of course we had to stop at Manuela’s around Noon for craft cocktails, oysters and house made biscuits with pear butter. Then off to downtown LA, more specifically, Bottega Louies for our mid-afternoon snack. They have phenonomenal food but I think are known for their pastries and macaroons. One of the employees was very kind and gave Niko a pink macaroon. She was in heaven.

That evening Gina and Steven met up with some of their friends for dinner in Santa Monica. Mela and I took Nicole, Dwight and Niko out for a belated birthday dinner for Nicole at the Park. The food was excellent but the restaurant was quiet which I attribute to the fact the did not have any TV’s and it was game 4 of the World Series.

Sunday was brunch at the Alcove in Silverlake and then just hanging out at the kids apartment until we had to catch our flight home. We got to the airport early and watched game 5 while we had a bite to eat at Rock N Brews. Our flight was delayed two hours but the good news is I was able to watch the Dodgers succumb to a crushing defeat against the Boston Red Sox in the 2018 World Series. Heck, even the Cubs have won a series in each of the last two centuries.

Anyway, I spent the last few paragraphs musing about the only thing that really matters at the end of the day - family. It was a great weekend. Oh, and Niko is going to be a dinosaur for Halloween.

God Bless!

MRI

October 16, 2018

As it turns out, MRI does not mean - still got “My Right I”. Who knew? According to webmd it stands for magnetic resonance imaging and is a test that uses powerful magnets, radio waves, and a computer to make detailed pictures inside your body.

My MRI is slated for this Saturday at 1:45 pm. If I were to list a million things to do on a Saturday afternoon an MRI would not be one of them. In scheduling the appointment, the woman, I believe Holly asked a number of screening questions including - are you calustrophobic to which I replied - yes a little bit. She followed up with you do know you will be in a tube. Yes, I know. She did not add on that everyone does great etc. Just the next question.

In telling Mela last evening about my upcoming MRI she added that it is incredibly loud. Yeah - a tiny loud tube. Additionally, my daughter, Nicole told me about a month ago that it was one of Dwight’s worst experiences. I will just have to go to my ‘happy place’. Think Happy Gilmore. If I need to explain this I do not know that we can be friends.

After concuding with all the screening questions including do I have any metal in my body - I guess due to the magnetic thing - Holly provided a few brief instructions. Essentially nothing to eat or drink except clear liquids two hours prior to the MRI. I forgot to ask if vodka counted as a clear liquid.

Those of you that know me - know I can get anxious and am not looking forward to this procedure but the results it will provide are far more critical. It will show whether the cancer has returned and spread to my liver and lungs. I will get the results when I next see my oncologist - on Halloween.

God Bless!

Eagle Eye..........

September 20, 2018

Joe Walsh is a 70 year-old bad ass. His guitar playing this past Tuesday was a masters class in performance. Sheer artistry. Mela and I along with another couple went to the Eagles Concert at the Golden 1 in Sacramento this past Tuesday. The show was phenomenal. They played for over two and a half hours. It was an amazing evening. We thoroughly enjoyed it.

I love music and have great appreciation for the art. Part of that is - I can’t sing. Can’t dance. Hell, I can’t even clap along to a song. That doesn’t matter as much anymore with my loss of depth of field. My hands stop about an inch from each other or completley pass each other like trains in the night. Just kidding. It is not that bad but for the complete absence of rythym part.

It was also cool that Deacon Frey, the son of Glen Frey played with the band. I think it was Don Henly that so eloquently put it. We have lost a brother, friend and leader but we have gained a son. I hope that Glen and Deacon had their share of time playing together. The height of my professional career in government affairs was working with my dad. I learned a lot and would not have had it any other way. Well, being a rock star could have been cool too.

Well enough about this classic iconic rock band whose career has spanned decades and whose music is just as relevant today as the day it was written. This is all about me (hopefully this is not the first post your reading. If so close it now and go to the beginning.) At 58 years of age and half-blind I have gotten my first prescription glasses. I spent significantly more than the two pair for $78 but I have a large head and like the Oakley style frame where the ear piece goes straight back as you can see. But I did get something of a deal. I only need the prescription in one lense. Mela would not let me get a monocle.

But it is not all fun and games. My cancer is a rare bird only impacting 6 in every one million people or 1 in every 166,000. That is like filling the LA Coliseum twice or 4 sold out games at AT&T Park. I think most people would take those odds. But for me - tag you are it.

As a kid I remember talking about on occasion with friends what sense would you be willing to lose. I think I said hearing but being very emphatic about not losing my sight. I miss my eye. The most notorious gang, the Cancer Gang has a mean streak. Let’s take this guy that is a visual learner and photographer and take his eye. Then on top of that he is claustrophobic so we will have him do an MRI about three times a year for the rest of his life to see if his cancer has spread to his liver and lungs.

It has only been about five months since I was diagnosed and despite my occasional rants I am incredibly grateful for all the support, quality of care and the progress I have made to date. I feel good and have returned to a number of activities that I enjoy but some days are tough and I just want to chill with my poodle posse. They are always glad to see me, never complain and always listen to my story.

God Bless!

It is always something'.....

September 6, 2018

Okay. By a show of hands. Who else has left a nice restaurant or any restaurant for that matter with their in eye in a to-go cup?

Mela and I were at the Hey Day Cafe in Placerville this past Saturday with another couple. We had enjoyed a wonderful charcuterie plate as an appetizer, each had soup and entree, wine and concluded the meal sharing one of their signature desserts complements of the chef. We were sitting at one of the high top tables and had finished our meal and were continuing to converse. It had been a long day and I started to rub my eye a bit. It comes out and hits the table before bouncing to the floor. I quickly get down and pick it up before someone proceeds to step on it. Andrea, our dinner guest is kind enough to go ask for a to-go container. It is always somethin’.

View of Macy's and Union Square from our room at the Grand Hyatt

It has been almost two weeks but we had a great weekend in the City with Gina and Steven. We thoroughly enjoyed meeting his parents and his grandmother. We had a wonderful dinner at the Park Tavern and brunch the next day just with Gina and Steven at Pt. Cavallo.

But this past Labor Day weekend our Lila had thrown up on Saturday night and was lethargic on Sunday. Mind you Lila has always lived life full throttle, pedal to the metal, guns blazin, where’s the next party exuberance - so her being lethargic was way out of character. Monday was not better so I called the vet and got voicemail. The doctor returned my call but the office was closed so I had an early appointment for Tuesday. Our poor sweetie has been diagnosed with Addison’s. In short she is not generating some needed steroids and consequently she will be getting a monthly shot and some other ora medication I believe for the rest of her life. She is doing much better but I do not know if she will get back to her silly self.

As I believe you all know Mela has had colorectal cancer. Just recently five years clean. Very blessed. The reason for my blog has been to share my story on my journey with choroidal melanoma, Sammy had cancer and now our dear Lila has Addison’s. It is always somethin’. The Fratarvaloff’s need a break. Some days it is tough to count blessings but number 1 is that we all have each other and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

It hasn’t been until the last couple of weeks that I have truly felt mentally and physically back in the game. So I decided to set a goal - a health/fitness goal by October 1. I think it is challenging but doable. I need to lose some weight but mostly improve my skeletal muscle mass and reduce my percentage of body fat. Lifetime has these fancy scale that provide all that information. It is currently showing me an image of a marshmallow. I liken the scale to Jack Nicholson in a Few Good Men. “You can’t handle the truth!!!” I am willing to cut myself some slack on slower weight loss but only so long as my SMM and PBF continue to improve. Nice to have a goal to work toward.

It is always somethin’. But need to remember that every day is special - maybe not a good day but still special because you are here and have an chance to make it better for yourself and hopefully someone else.

God Bless!

To be or not to be........

August 22, 2018

That is the question.

Sorry, I am back. Not sure at this point if it is an epilogue, pre-quel, sequel, out takes or a never ending story. The blog has had most everything but a little culture so thought I would take a few words from a well known playwright.

Sam took some offense to my culture comment. He stated that any reference to a standard poodle clearly adds an aire of culture and sophistication to any story line. Sammy the Bad Ass and Big Red, also know as Sam and Lila continue to be my faithful and loyal entourage. Sam retains his dignity despite his splint and Lila continues to strut around with a half a bullystick hanging out her mouth like an old man with a bad cigar.

The real question is to 1a, to 1b or to 2 (no bad ballet pun intended). Dr. Tsai called late yesterday afternoon. He had said that he had read my blog and had enjoyed it which I greatly appreciated.

A few people have commented that they enjoyed my blog or found it entertaining - but almost with a sense of embarrassment. But I take it as a most high compliment. My intent has been to share my story. I hope people that have dared follow along have been informed, perhaps smiled or even laughed, or found some hint of value in my musings.

However, the primary purpose of Dr Tsai's call was my biopsy results. As you may recall 1a is great news, box 1b is very good news and box 2 sucks. Box 1a is like your A plus student, 1b is likened to a A minus, B plus student and Box 2 is your failing student. You have read this far. Box 1b it is. Specifically, there is a 93 percent chance it does not return in three years and a 79 percent chance it does not return in five years. Pretty good Vegas odds if yor’re a betting man. Pretty good news.

Frankly if I was 25 and not 58 years old I would be more disappointed. But at 58 there is probably a pretty good chance that there is 7 percent odds of something happening to me. Flirting a little bit more with the 21 percent odds over five years but those are the cards I was dealt.

I had at one point mentioned biopsy result drinking day but I do not think so. I have tried to keep cancer as a key character actor and never the leading man - so no credit will be given to the biopsy result. But please feel free to hoist your favorite beverage in celebration of life. I will be meeting Rick tonight. In the words of Janis Joplin - Tomorrow never comes. Shakespeare and Joplin in the same blog post. Pretty cool.

What’s next? I think some road trips. Mela is not a fan of road trips but I find them peaceful and may have to do a few with my entourage. I have mentioned before that I love 395. I find it interesting that a such a stark and unforgiving landscape provides me with such peace. September of next year is Italy. But before any road trips or excursions to Italy I will need gas money so full steam ahead on the real estate front.

This weekend is dinner in the city with our daughter, Gina and her beau Steven and his folks. Next month is our other daughters, Nicole, 25th birthday and our granddaughter, Nikola, turns 2. Time flies.

I will also be getting an MRI next month, seeing Dr. Tsai in October, my prosthetic eye artist, Eric, in November and my primary care physician, Dr. Kujok, in December. I guess I am making up for all those years that were doctor free. If I can have as many years with doctors appointments as I did without I will be in great shape.

Perhaps Sammy the Bad Ass, Big Red and myself will start a Poodles On the Run Blog so stay tuned.

God Bless!

Five Years. A love story.......

August 16, 2018

First things first. Katy’s in Carmel has the best breakfast ever. In eyeing the menu this past Sunday I noticed they combined two of the most delicious breakfasts known to man. Genius. For the few I have to explain this to - Eggs Benedict and Hash. Decision made. Sipping my hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles ( I like to think more child-like than childish) I wondered if it could be as good as it sounds. Wonder no more. Sooooo good.

The reason Mela and I were in Carmel this past weekend is kind-of-a big deal. Just under six years ago she said Yes and Saturday, August 11 was our five year wedding anniversary. I am very blessed. We share several things in common some of which I would not wish on anybody. We have both been thru cancer, each divorced one time, each lost a parent arguably sooner than we should have, a love of dogs and both born the same year but that is another story. Mostly we share an unwavering commitment and unconditional love for each other.

The long weekend in Carmel was just what the doctor ordered. Clean fresh air, great food, shopping, the ocean and each other. Friday we had an excellent light late lunch at Pepper’s in Pacific Grove - one of my favorites and a dinner of Crab and Lobster Ravioli while Mela had he Cioppino and wine of course at Little Napoli in Carmel. We love good food.

Saturday was a leisurely drive down the coast. This was the first time I had taken out my camera since my diagnosis - excluding the wedding of the century of course. I never really did ask Sean why he kept the wedding under wraps. The only thing I could figure is he did want to undermine the wedding of Harry and Megan. He has always been gracious that way.

Anyway it was a beautiful day and felt good to take some images. It was funny. I used manual focus on several occasions. The autofocus actually focuses on where your eye is looking - but my eye was apparently not looking where I was focusing on. Our drive concluded just south of Pfeiffer State Park at a restaurant on the coast named Nepenthe. The views were extraordinary. Mela enjoyed a chilled white wine while I had a beer and we shared a caprese salad and a grilled artichoke. Did I say we also share a love for food and thankfully working out. A good day.

Sunday we bummed around Carmel after our late breakfast at Katy’s and sadly Monday we headed home - to our demoed master bath and closet. We finally pulled the trigger on the remodel.

This coming weekend we are having dinner with long time friends at Mulvaney’s in Sacramento and the following weekend will find us in the City to have dinner with our daughter, Gina, her beau, Steven and his folks.

I share this because a lot of good is happening including a planned trip to Italy next September - and I am immensely grateful. I have not yet heard regarding my genetic mark-up from the biopsy. I would be lying if I said I was not anxious but my level of concern has diminished.

I hope the blog has been both informative and entertaining. I have found it quite therapeutic so thank you for following along. I am not going away but not sure where my ‘voice’ takes me on this or other journeys. Stay tuned……..

God Bless!

What if............

August 3, 2018

My biopsy results are still out in the ether somewhere. While I am anxious it is not with the trepidation that I had had for awhile. I hope and pray for the best but their is not a damned thing I can do.

This morning I had hoped to go to the shooting range at Sunrise and Douglas to shoot my 22 rife for a bit. I was blessed to inherit the 22 from my grandfather. It is an old Browning Rifle back when they were made in Belgium. But I came to find out the range had closed in late June after 38 years. I was disappointed. Target shooting on occasion is fun and a great stress reliever.

Over the past week since my appointment with my oncologist I have been thinking which I know is troublesome to some. What if?

What if you were given 1,200 more sunsets? What if………. Is it a fine cigar, some sippin’ whiskey and a card game on a Mississippi River Boat; Maybe bacon wrapped pan seared scallops over a risotto with a glass of your favorite pinot noir overlooking the Manhattan skyline; Is it a freshly caught trout over an open flame at your favorite spot along the Pacific Crest Trail; Perhaps sipping a double espresso on the balcony of your apartment in Paris overlooking the Eiffel Tower;

What if…….. Watching the SF Giants trounce the Dodgers at ATT&T Park with an ice cold beer, a dog and some fresh hot garlic fries; Watching the lions feed on that long dreamt of African safari; Walking up the 18th fairway at Pebble Beach with 3 lifelong friends and a round of golf for the ages; Driving down that long lonely ribbon of hig hway with nothing but your thoughts for miles around; Seeing Grizzly Bears in the Tetons or Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park.

What if……….Pushing your granddaughter in the swing at her favorite park; Walking hand in hand with your spouse down the beach on Kaui with your dogs; That secluded cabin by the lake to finally write that novella that has been rattling around in your brain for the last two decades; Simply a backyard barbecue with friends and family. Tomorrow is 1,199. What if…….

God Bless!

A look back. with two eyes..........

July 27, 2018

It is the afternoon of Monday May 7, 2018. Wait, first we have to go back to July 2005. In the middle of my divorce I needed shelter against the wind. Arrangements had been made for long term housing but needed something for about six weeks. With a call to Sean I asked if he had room for the homeless for a few weeks. Sean who has never married said, yes, the divorced dad’s room is available. Excellent news.

Sean has a beautiful home right on the Sacramento River. I could not have asked for better accommodations or a better friend. It worked out great at least from my vantage point. During the tail end of my stay I had met Nancy on several occasions. A woman that Sean had recently started dating and eventually moved in with Sean. A much better roommate than yours truly.

Now, I have known Sean and his family for over 4 decades. His brother Kevin and his sisters - Siobhan and Colleen and their parents are all really good people. Yes, they are Irish. We have all seen each other grow up. As a matter of fact I was with Kevin the night he met his lovely wife - Val. The stories…….

The afternoon of Monday, May 7. It had been about a month since my diagnosis and was awaiting my first appointment with my surgeon on Wednesday May 9. The phone rings mid afternoon. It is Sean. What are you doing tomorrow? Before I could utter “nothing”, Sean said I am getting married to Nancy. Now hearing I had cancer was shocking but this was huge. Sean further said and no one knows - not Kevin, Siobhan, Colleen - no one. He further said that you are about one of six people that knows.

Sean then went on - Can you photograph the wedding tomorrow at 11 am at a church in Auburn? But of course I will be there. It was a beautiful wedding. The only people there were of course Sean and Nancy, Sean’s parents, Des and Mary and Nancy’s brother and sister. Father Carroll performed the ceremony. I was in the background trying to capture the moment. Thank goodness for auto focus.

A great day that I had the privilege to witness!

No one but Sean would call someone half blind with cancer on less than a day’s notice to photograph his wedding. But it was truly an honor and felt very blessed. To see Sean tear up was worth its weight in gold. I wish Sean and Nancy nothing but the best for all of time. I can honestly say that it was the last momentous life event I saw with my own two eyes.

After the ceremony I joined them for lunch at a nice place in Auburn and Sean texted some of the images from his cell phone to friends and family of his big day before the news had otherwise gotten out. It was without a doubt one of my bright spots over the last four months.

Many thanks and God Bless!

National Biopsy Results Drink Day has been postponed! Keep an eye out....

July 25, 2018

National Biopsy Result Drinking Day has been postponed!

Yesterday with the thoughts of getting my biopsy results was not a great day nor was this morning. Mela and I again had lunch at the Chick Fil A including the frosted lemonade near Dr Tsai’s office prior to my 1 pm appointment. The frosted lemonade did not disappoint.

Before meeting with Dr Tsai I had several tests and images taken of my right eye. Dr Tsai had on his signature bow tie and he said my right eye looked good. However, the results of biopsy were not back yet. But there is a plus side. He further defined for Mela and I the low, medium and high risk categories and I have some time to absorb the information.

Some of the fine details get lost when you hear news of this nature. But there are essentially two boxes. Box 1a and b - and Box 2. With box 1a there is about an 80 to 90 percent chance the cancer does not return in 3 to 5 years. Box 1b is about an 70 to 80 percent. Box 2 is basically a casket (my words). Specifically there is about a 80 to 90 percent chance the cancer does return. The return of the cancer is terminal. I like the use of the word terminal a lot better in association with airports.

I need everyone’s good thoughts, wishes and prayers for box 1a!!! I should hear in the coming weeks. Additionally, I will be scheduling a MRI for my liver and lungs in the first part of September. Yeah, it is more claustrophobic than a CT Scan but there is less radiation.

I will clearly be needing more vacation. Mela and I have put on our calendar for September of next year a trip to Italy in conjunction with a Mike Ferry Real Estate event. So here is my shameless plug. If you know of ANYONE that is planning to buy or sell a home please visit AskForMela.com or call 916-936-9317. Or if anyone wishes to buy any fine art black & white photography to decorate their home or office - you know who to call.

I will keep you posted for the upcoming NBRDD. God Bless!

Christmas Day.........

July 19, 2018

Christmas came this past Monday. I love my new eye. But maybe Mela did even more. She got home after me as we prepared to leave for our flight to Vegas. I heard the garage door and waited for her in the kitchen. As she came in I closed my eyes in preparation for the reveal. She came over to me, grabbed both my hands and I opened my eyes. She teared up.

The process for my present was fascinating. Upon arrival at the office of Eric Lindsey I went with him to the room in which he would proceed to paint my eye. I sat patiently as he worked his magic with his palette of color until he perfectly matched my eye color. Once he was satisfied I left for about two hours while it dried. Once I returned I again went back and Eric placed the eye in the previously empty socket. Upon looking in the mirror,I was openly pleased and got a little misty myself. Seeing myself whole again was joyous.

Eric was delight to work with as well as his staff. Not sure of her title, but his office assistant, Ariel was incredible. She was most helpful and gracious during my phone calls and equally if not more gracious in person. She was very personable and did a great job of making customers feel welcomed under difficult circumstances. I wish I had never needed the services but the experience could not have been better.

In addition to Eric’s skill at making prosthetic eyes he can recommend restaurants in Las Vegas. He had recommended Javier’s in the Aria Hotel. Mela and I arrived in Las Vegas late Monday afternoon and checked into the Bellagio. We did not have dinner plans so we decided to try Javier’s. My Dungeness Crab enchilada’s were delicious and Mela’s prawns were equally outstanding not too mention the margaritas. Great food, service and ambiance - a very good evening.