I remain about a month away from the one year anniversary of my diagnosis. But I decided against giving it too much creedence and am concluding early. I wish I had something profound to say or some great lesson that I could articulate to the two of you. But I don’t which is okay with me.
What a journey it has been and will continue to be I suppose. April 5 of last year I went in for a routine opthamologist appointment and saw an ocular oncologist the next day. I learned the next day that I had choroidal melanoma and would lose my left eye. It turns out that perpetuity is a long time. Additionally, this cancer likes to come back to the liver and the lungs.
Lila, Ever Faithful Editor-in-Chief, might need a new gig
I think that is one of the things that bugs me the most. You lose your eye - OK. You have cancer - OK. But the fact that this evil wants another bite of the apple really irks me. Oh well.
The fact is this is 2019 and this April 5 and 6 we will be celebrating Mela’s birthday. I had the surgery to remove my eye on May 24 of last year. But this is 2019 and I will be at my son’s, Kyle Holcomb’s, wedding in Flagstaff, Arizona on May 25.
My dear sweet Sam will be 9 this March 8 and look forward to fixing him and Lila there cheeseburgers. They have been my loyal poodle possee throughout this past year. We go most everywhere together. Dear friends throug it all.
Not sure what the rest of the year brings but it is all good. I do feel at times that the roller coaster has been going up for awhile. Not really sure that I want it to drop all at once. Be nice to have it plateau and enjoy the view for a bit. We shall see.
I will be getting my MRI and chest X Ray sometime in the next 6 weeks. Preferrably excellent results. Greatly prefer 20 years over 20 months. I believe my faith has grown over the past year. Nothing like losing an eye to see clearly. At this point in time it is all good. I have been blessed.
But this past year has been a dark season in my life. Even in the darkness there are moments of illumination. Great medical care. Outreach of friends and family. I actually think I coped well with the diagnosis and even the surgery. I was so anxious to get the tumor out. In July I received my prosthetic eye which made me whole visually - at least to others.
Perhaps somewhat ironically it was later in the year that I found it more difficult. As a visual learner my confidence and identity were sorely tested. I had left a career that I had known for years and barely starting a new venture in real estate, photography is something I had always treasured and not sure how that will play out, what about my golf game, still have not gotten on my bike - balance is an issue. I am very much aware that so many people are in worse predicaments but have tried to share this as my story - And we all have our story. It is as my story unfolds and I try mightily at learning new skills and truly realizing that life simply goes on that I both celebrate and ask questions.
It is as I ramble to a close that I am aware my voice is waning and it is time for this to be my last post. I am greatly humbled and appreciative of those that have dared follow along. For me it has been great therapy. I hope those of you that have read my missives have learned something or hopefully had a laugh or two. A sense of humor is critical.
I will leave with a couple of things. At church today one of the principle questions was “What is the most loving thing to do?” as a way of guiding our actions and affections.
Be Strong, Be Kind, Be Humble. God Bless!